Parenting

 

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog. I wanted to talk about parenting today. I wanted to talk about the different type of parenting styles and some dos and don’ts of parenting. There are three main types of parenting styles. They are authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Authoritarian means that the parent knows best, and obedience is demanded. These are the type of parents that what they say go and there is no budging. A permissive parent is one that provides few behavioral guidelines because parents don’t want to upset their children. These parents are more like a friend to the children rather then a parent. A permissive parent does not enforce rules on their children. An authoritative parent is a blend of caring tone with structure and consistent limit setting. These types of parents have a health balance between authoritarian and permissive. They are firm on their rules but are also loving and kind to their children. An Authoritative parent has the respect needed for their children, but their children aren’t afraid to approach them with difficulties. I have friends with all three of these parenting types and its interesting to see what the children are like as they grow into adulthood. My friends who have authoritarian parents, once they leave home, they are wild. They do everything they weren’t allowed to do at home and they typically don’t have the best relationship with their parents. My friends who have permissive parents, lack responsibility and I feel like they are constantly looking for structure, good or bad. I had a roommate who had a permissive parent, and she was so hard to live with. Her family didn’t have any rules and they never cleaned because they had someone who would come to their house and clean for them. Because of this she would never clean and it was difficult to live with her. I have a lot of friends who have authoritative parents, and they are just fine. They are loving and respectful and they also talk responsibilities for the things around them. I personally think that out of the three main parenting styles that authoritative parenting is the best way to go. Now I wanted to talk about parents letting their children make decisions. I think from the times children are young it is important to let them make their own decisions. For instants, if you have a toddler and you are getting them dressed for the day, you could place two outfits out and allow the child to pick what outfit they would like to wear. This way you are still in control on what they are wearing, but they still feel like they are the ones who get to decide. As the child gets older you, and you are going to the grocery store, you could ask them for a suggestion on what you should have for dinner one night. Little things like these can make the children feel like they have some sort of say about what is happening around them. We also need to let children make decision that might have natural consequences. Such as if a child decides to run with their shoe laces untied and you tell them to tie them and they choose to ignore you and they trip while running, that is a natural consequence and the next time they might think twice about that. I think it is ok to let children make their own decisions as long as those decisions don’t harm them or anyone else. I also think that if the consequence is natural then we need to make sure it is effective in that moment. For example, if a freshman in high school wants to drop out of school and the natural consequence is that he will not get a good job in the future, that consequence is to far in the future. The consequence needs to be instant.